50 tunes for 50 years: Björk

If there is one tune on this planet that captures being autistic it has to be Björk’s Hyperballad. Okay, I live on a hill and not a mountain but whilst view is beautiful there is no pile of car parts, bottles and cutlery at the bottom of our garden steps (although Hubbell’s keen on his collection of clothes pegs). Instead, there’s a pile of my worries and frets, anxieties and fears, doubts and unfathomable details of everyday life that together with a collection of must-do, cannot fail endless lists. Each created every night before I go to sleep; each something my non-neurotypical brain needs to go through so I can feel safe again. Every. Single. Night.

But thankfully Björk has unconsciously created an anthem for this Asperger’s lass, reflecting my endless overthinking, need for daily structure, my habits and routines and my reliance on the day’s plan remaining as, well, planned. And whilst most days when I wake I do feel safe again, thanks to the joy of the queen I lay beside, when I do feel the darker side of life, this tune is one of several that wakes me from my frightening slumber. Because in the madness that Björk sings of there is joy, real joy. And like lots of people on this planet with a mind that matches their not-so-smiley resting face, ballads like Björk’s gets me through. Because I know I’m in trouble when days pass without a soundtrack, when days are without a sound mind.

It would be dishonest of me to claim the past 50 years has been filled with tunes of love, joy and health as I continue this 50 Tunes For 50 Years adventure. One isn’t going to get through 18,222 days (and counting) without some sadness and despair. Its what makes us human and, in my Aspie black and white literal only mind, what makes me me. But knowing that tunes such as Bjork’s Hyperballad are there ready to jolt me back to life is what brings the sunshine back on those dark, dark days. And if I need an extra boost of dopamine there’s always her Volta tour performance in Paris from 2018. The soundest of serotonin reuptake inhibitors I’ve ever found and one with only joy and the occasional pissed off neighbour as a side effect. Here’s to tunes like this remaining my repeat prescription for life.

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